November 19, 2014
A Letter to the Newborn Mom
Hi,
First of all, congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby. There were things that I did not know what to expect with the birth of my first baby and I wanted to write a letter to the mom of a newborn (but also to myself for baby #2) for things to remember (some of these may be TMI but I feel like the new mom would like to know).
I just want you to know, things in the first 6 weeks are going to be tough, enjoyable, but tough. Things feel like they are never going to get back to normal. Your body feels all sorts of crazy physically as well as emotionally. I wanted to let you know some of the things that I went through and remind you that it shall pass and return back to "normal". This letter was actually my husband's idea and I thought that it was genius. I am going to print it and tuck it with my maternity clothes for when our next child is going to be born.
1. You are going to have some wacky hormones. For the first week and a half, I cried every single day. I was not sad about anything. In fact, I was so happy which was a lot of the reason that I was crying. I read that hormones and emotions will be out of control for a bit and this was so true for me. I remember when Adalyn was 5 days old, I was crying because she was "so old already"- hah.
Remember, your hormones will get back to normal and you will feel like yourself again.
2. The pain seems like it is never going to end. I had pain from my episiotomy for 1 whole month. The first week or two, sitting down ranged from hard to impossible. I remember, I was at my dad's work for a pizza lunch and sat down too quick in a chair and cried from the horrible pain.
Remember, soon, the pain will be gone and you will feel back to normal! Hang in there.
3. Breastfeeding is hard in the beginning but gets easier. I read and read about how to breastfeed, certain issues that may come up, etc. Adalyn had a great latch from the beginning but what was crazy was that the pain lasted about a month for me. It was not always horrible but I did have an open wound for a bit. Also, in the beginning, there is a lot (and for me, I mean A LOT) of leaking. Tip: use disposable nursing pads. The reusable ones were not enough in the beginning. This felt like it would never end but after about 5-6 weeks, my body finally got used to it and stopped most of the leaking.
Hang in there! Breastfeeding is so good for you and your baby. Do not give up mama! Also, go see a lactation consultant if you are having issues (I saw one and it was very beneficial!).
4. You will spend time alone with your spouse again. In the beginning, even though Troy and I were seeing each other everyday, it felt like we never had any time just the two of us. After about 6 weeks when we started getting Adalyn to bed earlier, we finally had couple time again which feels great.
Hang in there these first 6 weeks. Remember that things will get fairly back to normal as a couple. Also, always make time for your spouse. I believe that a strong, healthy marriage is a fundamental part of parenting.
5. Feeling like yourself again- I thought that during these first 6 weeks I felt like myself but really didn't though. Once we started getting more sleep, I feel a world of difference. It is important to make time for things you enjoy too. I love to go on walks, read blogs, spend time blogging, get dressed nice, etc. These are important to me to feel normal.
Remember that in the beginning, you are more in survival mode and this is okay. The time will come that you will feel normal again. My tip is to try to sneak in a bit of time for yourself so that you feel somewhat like yourself as soon as possible.
6. The days fly by- When Adalyn was 10 days old, I remember crying when Troy came home from work his first day back because I could not get the whole house cleaned (hello crazy hormones- see #1). You just cannot do it all. Remember that your number one priority is your baby. The rest can wait. It doesn't really matter if your house is not perfect, etc. Enjoy time with your little one and hold and love them lots.
7. You WILL sleep again. People love to tell you that you will never sleep again after you have a baby. Not true. First of all, the first few weeks are really crazy. The baby does not at all know days from nights and will be up a lot at night, Within a few weeks, the stretches of sleep will get a bit longer, baby will feed less times in the night and you will sleep again. The growth spurts are tough occurring at about 3 weeks and 6-8 weeks. They only last a few days of fussiness and increased feedings and then your baby will back to their sweet self.
At 7 weeks old right now, I feed Adalyn at 8:30 before I go to bed, Troy feeds her a pumped bottle at ~11:30 and then I feed her when she wakes up 1x/night (anywhere from 3-5 AM) and then of course first thing in the morning when we wake up. I am getting pretty good sleep now.
If you can just make it through this tough period, I promise you, things will get better and easier. You will start to feel like you are in a groove and got this mom thing down. You will feel normal again.
Enjoy this period because everyday, they change so much. Most of all hang in there, you are doing a great job.
Signed,
A new mom who is starting to figure a few things out (maybe)
First of all, congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby. There were things that I did not know what to expect with the birth of my first baby and I wanted to write a letter to the mom of a newborn (but also to myself for baby #2) for things to remember (some of these may be TMI but I feel like the new mom would like to know).
I just want you to know, things in the first 6 weeks are going to be tough, enjoyable, but tough. Things feel like they are never going to get back to normal. Your body feels all sorts of crazy physically as well as emotionally. I wanted to let you know some of the things that I went through and remind you that it shall pass and return back to "normal". This letter was actually my husband's idea and I thought that it was genius. I am going to print it and tuck it with my maternity clothes for when our next child is going to be born.
Remember, your hormones will get back to normal and you will feel like yourself again.
2. The pain seems like it is never going to end. I had pain from my episiotomy for 1 whole month. The first week or two, sitting down ranged from hard to impossible. I remember, I was at my dad's work for a pizza lunch and sat down too quick in a chair and cried from the horrible pain.
Remember, soon, the pain will be gone and you will feel back to normal! Hang in there.
Hang in there! Breastfeeding is so good for you and your baby. Do not give up mama! Also, go see a lactation consultant if you are having issues (I saw one and it was very beneficial!).
4. You will spend time alone with your spouse again. In the beginning, even though Troy and I were seeing each other everyday, it felt like we never had any time just the two of us. After about 6 weeks when we started getting Adalyn to bed earlier, we finally had couple time again which feels great.
Hang in there these first 6 weeks. Remember that things will get fairly back to normal as a couple. Also, always make time for your spouse. I believe that a strong, healthy marriage is a fundamental part of parenting.
Remember that in the beginning, you are more in survival mode and this is okay. The time will come that you will feel normal again. My tip is to try to sneak in a bit of time for yourself so that you feel somewhat like yourself as soon as possible.
6. The days fly by- When Adalyn was 10 days old, I remember crying when Troy came home from work his first day back because I could not get the whole house cleaned (hello crazy hormones- see #1). You just cannot do it all. Remember that your number one priority is your baby. The rest can wait. It doesn't really matter if your house is not perfect, etc. Enjoy time with your little one and hold and love them lots.
At 7 weeks old right now, I feed Adalyn at 8:30 before I go to bed, Troy feeds her a pumped bottle at ~11:30 and then I feed her when she wakes up 1x/night (anywhere from 3-5 AM) and then of course first thing in the morning when we wake up. I am getting pretty good sleep now.
If you can just make it through this tough period, I promise you, things will get better and easier. You will start to feel like you are in a groove and got this mom thing down. You will feel normal again.
Enjoy this period because everyday, they change so much. Most of all hang in there, you are doing a great job.
Signed,
A new mom who is starting to figure a few things out (maybe)
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You nailed it! I always say the first 6-8 weeks are the hardest for sure. Sleep and establishing breastfeeding and a routine are tricky. And the pain! Blech. This is TMI, but I had a 4th degree episiotomy with my first, and I wish I would've known how much sex would hurt the first few times. OUCH. I thought I was a broken woman. Wine and lube is all I have to say ;) It DOES get better! You're doing an amazing job, mama!
ReplyDeleteAgreed! The first couple months are VERY hard! Breastfeeding especially, I dreaded it the first few weeks and it felt like forever. But we made it through the hump and it was so worth it.
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